So Let's Talk

Let me begin with an apology. It is as much for me as it is for you. I like to believe I have a skill with words, but it’s far easier to point at something and say “This”.

The thing I love about this video is that he is not saying “Man, there are some truly awful Christians out there. But not me! I’m great and my friends are great and we’re totally different!” No. We are one church, divided all to hell (pun intended?).

And so I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell blaming 9/11 and hurricane Katrina on “the gays and the abortionists”. I’m sorry for Fred Phelps and the WBC saying even worse things still about the gay community and soldiers. I’m sorry for Rick Perry’s “Strong” ad and the belief that Christianity is under attack despite having a strong presence in the political sphere. I’m sorry for my silence and my inaction. And I’m truly sorry that we suck so bad at listening.

A few years ago, I was out to dinner with a friend on New Year’s Eve in downtown Richmond, VA. As we wandered up and down the street people-watching, enjoying the festive atmosphere, I couldn’t help but notice the plethora of preachers on big stands shouting what might roughly be considered sermons at the passers-by. These men of God had various messages, but to a casual observer, most of them amounted to a version of “You are in some way, shape, or form wrong, and we can fix you!” Even having grown up in the church, I was turned off. But moreso now than ever before, my reaction to this memory is becoming more visceral, more outright frustrated, even embarrassed. Because, again, I am one of them. Sure, different theologies and denominations and all that, but at our core we worship the same God, the same Lord, regardless of the names and labels. And if my brothers and sisters are so set in their ways that they would rather shout it from the mountaintops than talk it over a pint in the pub, then that’s as much my bad as it is theirs.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the cynicism. Again, those much more skilled than I have already gotten the ball rolling, so I won’t waste time trying to hunt down every instance, significant or insignificant, that exemplifies our inept handling of the world. Instead, see Exhibit A again before taking a gander here at Exhibit B.

I caught this Bo Burnham comedy special on “The Netflix” last summer and have since become more than a little enamored by it. This particular bit was most intriguing to me. The catchy little ditty, simply titled “Rant,” regardless of its focus on Catholicism, serves as a reminder that we are not the golden city on the hill, we are not beloved by the entire world, and we are not living in a purely Christianized world with a few other religions sprinkled here and there.

But here I am going on and on about organized religion. What I really care about are beliefs. Beliefs are at the heart of this discussion. After all, organized religion is just systemized belief. And it’s unrealistic to expect that, as a Christian, I believe whole-heartedly what every other Christian says (mainly because this is almost impossible). So what do I believe? You guessed it, it’s time for Exhibit C:

“I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen — I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

----Neil Gaiman – American Gods

EDIT: How very sloppy of me to include noting of my own theology but simply posting a quote! It occurs to me that while I agree wholehearted with the above (for the most part, anyway), this needs more of a personal touch or this blog post will equate to little more than a collection of stuff I find interesting. So for at least some small thing I can put forward, I present a personalized version of what is known as the Nicene Creed. My personal statement of faith, for whatever that might mean:

I believe in God, the Lord of Love, Creator and Sustainer, ineffable and, consequently, often misunderstood, Head of the Triune, without whom nothing exists.

And in Jesus Christ, Messiah, one and only Son of God, and yet One with God; who was born a human to Mary, lived a human life, taught many, suffered and died; yet who performed miracles and was buried only three days, before returning to earth, and finally ascending to heaven to join the Creator God and the Holy Spirit in Heaven.

And I believe in the Holy Spirit, Inspiration to the prophets and Healer of souls, who fills our hearts and minds with the Glory of the Lord; who reigns co-eternally and co-equally with God and Jesus as the One Lord of Heaven.

I believe in the church, in both its varied incarnations and the one, universal Church, in which all God’s people are tasked with creating a mirror of Heaven on Earth.

I am lucky to be learning in a theology school with such an open atmosphere, that I can feel free to include a quote like this on what is ostensibly a class project (though I want it to become something much more). But the heart of what I think and feel is there – that it’s important to know what you believe, and to hold it loosely enough that new ideas don’t shake the absolute foundation of your very soul. I love theology, and I love learning new theologies, whether or not I agree with them. Mythology and religion have always fascinated me, and I’d like to think I come at them with as much of an open mind as I possibly can. I love learning about what it is that really matters to someone, what their hearts and minds tell them, whether it’s that a man died and came back three days later, or that Odin gave up his eye for knowledge, or that Anubis will someday weigh our hearts against a feather, or simply that space is infinite. Beliefs fascinate me, and they challenge me, and if we can’t encounter a little challenge now and then in our daily lives, then what’s the point?

All this is to say that I just want to talk. I’m not looking to convert, and I’m not even really looking for debate. What I want, and what I think is severely lacking these days, is honest conversation. This is not an invitation for a point-counterpoint battle. This is not an invitation for flaming, though I’m sure some will take this as an opportunity for just that in the coming days and weeks. This is an invitation for dialogue, a space to say “Maybe I’m crazy, but here goes…” I want to know, and to talk, and to learn, and to teach.

Comment below or send me an e-mail (confusedbilliam@gmail.com) and let’s get this thing going!